Would The Euphoria Teens Survive Yellowjackets?
Euphoria x Yellowjackets: The crossover no one asked for but that I couldn’t stop thinking about
By Natalie Duerr
If your winter lineup looked anything like mine, there was a brief few weeks where Sundays belonged to both Showtime's Yellowjackets and HBO's Euphoria. For the uninitiated, both shows feature teenagers going through it—"it" meaning being stranded in dense Canadian wilderness or going to a high school with an endless spiral of drama (that perhaps even the teachers are in on). In those short weeks where I flipped from Euphoria to Yellowjackets, I started to wonder if the girls of Euphoria could survive a Yellowjackets-esque experience. (Warning: spoilers for both shows ahead.)
I'm not sure what event the students of Euphoria High would be traveling to compete in, but after the events of season 2, episode 2, they are off. As with Yellowjackets, Rue, Jules, Maddy, Lexi, Cassie, and Kat never make it to their destination—the private jet (chartered by the family Maddy babysits for) crashes, stranding them in the woods.
And you know, these girls never miss a chance to dress UP, so now they are stranded in MSGM shorts, Dion Lee cropped tops, and Nicole Saldana loafers. Unlike a girls soccer team, they don't have athletic kits to switch into, so they'll be trekking ahead in their designer garb. Rue's more laid-back look of baggy pants and Chucks saves her from the same fate.
Let's say they manage to not break their ankles on the rough terrain from their crashed plane to the conveniently located cabin—now it's time for one of them to hunt. Let's be honest, I don't know if any of these girls could take down a moving target, but I'd give the best chances to Maddy, the self-proclaimed lover of a good fight. And perhaps Kat's years of reading and writing overly descriptive fanfic about Game of Thrones gives her some knowledge on edible flora.
Not to forget, our girls also have a cheating scandal bubbling to the surface, just like Jackie and Shauna did. Since I'm not Sam Levinson, I think there is a way for the girls to survive this without all the drama. Unlike bland Jeff, Nate is mega bad news—he's not a man worth fighting over (neither was Jeff, but at least he was nice?). If they remember that he's also blackmailed and harassed Jules, I think Cassie and Maddy could put aside their differences and at least be civil. No anti-climatic freezing-to-death scene for you, Maddy!
As for Rue and Jules, with manipulative Elliot out of the picture (Elliot stans, please do not come for me), I hope they can rekindle their romance a la Taissa and Van, or at least find friendship again. While being out in the woods would suck, I think the whole group (minus Lexi?) would find a little bit of happiness and hope in seeing them back together.
While the group might have a survival plan in place temporarily, there were Yellowjackets who turned against their own, adding more challenges (looking at you, conniving Misty and possibly possessed Lottie). If I had to place a bet on who would lose their mind first from the Euphoria crew, I'd say Lexi is a pretty good contender. We've already seen her play the judge, jury, and executioner through her play, so who's to say she wouldn't find herself in that role again? And if the season one theory of Lexi having a crush on Rue ends up being true, jealousy could rear its ugly head. Maybe she'd be the one digging up shrooms to use on her unrequited love.
I guess I'm not giving these girls a good chance of survival, but I don't think I'd last that long in the wilderness either. I feel like they might be able to make it through summer and fall. Once winter hits, there is simply no way these girls from California survive (would this be the first time they see snow?!). And with the latest season of Euphoria distancing itself further from the reality of high school students, maybe this plot isn't as far-fetched as it seems.